We try to lead supposedly private lives, where only those in our "circle of trust" (see Meet the Parents) are allowed to know us for who we truly are. It is interesting to see, however, how our facades, more often than not, have cracks through which strangers may pry into us. My uncle once said that if he disappeared and we didn't know where he was, he would probably be sitting in Time Square...looking at people.
I found my own 'Times Square' in the cafeteria. In a place where strangers meet, it is fascinating to see how people behave. From the trained athlete who indulges in an extra slice of pizza or another brownie, to the student who can't have dessert because she is so busy studying for a test, passing through the famous table for one.
Someone sitting...alone. For what I've seen there are two ways to approach the procedure. Some shily take a seat once they have gotten all their food, and seem to curl into a ball over their tray. This person will occasionally glance rapidly around him as if to make sure he is, indeed, invisible. In an effort to become even more inconspicuous, often that person will bury their face in some book with no relevance whatsoever to their interest or following class.The cafeteria suddenly becomes a hostile environment where everyone is judging everybody else. Through stares, whispers, laughter and other subtle signs the most powerful jump on the weak ones.
The other approach to the table for one drives those kings of the jungle crazy, since they are completely bewildered. When someone walks into the cafeteria alone, but smiling, people don't know how to act. When that person takes their time picking out what they want to eat, remaining calm and confident, people ask themselves....but why? Then, the final straw: when that person does not remain seated. Getting up for dessert, for more soda, or even moving around raises the stakes immediately.
If, combined with all these sacrilegious actions, one's demeanor while eating is positive, the bewilderment intensifies. I've often been told I eat 'very erotically' and, lately that I eat 'like a European'. In response to the erotism in my eating habits, I can only say that I like my food and try to enjoy it. As for the latter remark, however, I would like to go into it a little bit more. Apparently, eating 'like a European' is having plain good manners, which again makes people ask themselves 'but why?' The other day at a restaurant I got my entree before anyone else, and waited for people to be served before I started. This refusal to dig into my food before everyone else and somehow make a point of 'screw all of you' made people so uncomfortable! It was hilarious to see people's reaction: some just stared at my food salivating while others just came right out and said "why aren't you eating?". When I refused to eat until everyone was served, people couldn't believe it...again, "but why?" I don't know if it was good manners or a type of sociological experiment that drove me to wait, but again the reactions were incredible. Quoting someone at the table "I don't know how you do it in Spain, but in the States we are selfish sons of bitches." Another part of 'eating like a European' is the way I hold my fork and knife. Even though I completely understand that in different cultures this is taught different, I still find it to be part of what you can consider a 'presentation card' each one of us carries when we meet someone for the first time. I have seen people cut a steak in ways that would make Jack the Ripper proud, and people just don't understand why I take my time eating, holding the fork in my left hand, the knife in my right.
Public behavior is really an art. I find it truly rewarding when you can use your demeanor to show how good you feel. The same way we 'dress to impress', or walk in a certain way when we feel confident, I think this theory should also be applied to eating habits. It may sound twisted, but I think that, much in the same way we love it when someone turns their head when our outfit catches their eye, it also makes us feel good when we see people don't understand why we're happy, why we smile or why we 'eat erotically' even if it is in a table for one.
